Help! Halloween Candy is after me!

Now there has been Halloween candy in our house for a week or more. But it is in bags that are still un-opened. So It is easy to not eat it, if I open the bag then EVERYONE will know that I was eating the candy. Ok, everyone would really only be my hubby, and I told him that he better not open any of the bags of Halloween candy because that would be the same as stealing the candy from little trick-or-treaters, and if he did it then he might as well go out on Halloween night and knock over a 6-year old and take his pillow case!

But today was my daughter's Halloween party at pre-school. She came home with a TON of candy. I took the day off work today to take her to school and stand with the other mom's and pass out candy as the little costume wearing cuties paraded past. Then the parents took the candy home while the kids continued their day at school. And I did NOT even peek into her bag or steal a single thing. Then after I picked her up we went through her bag together to see all the nice treats she got, there were about 4 pencils, a few erasers, stickers, lots of spider and skeleton rings, and CANDY, ohh glorious chocolate! And I did eat one little Snickers. My daughter had one little bag of candy corn, one stick of Twizzlers, one laffy taffy, and a gummy skeleton.

And now she is in bed. I could go sneak ten candy bars and she would never even notice. Also, we went to the Farmer's market today. I had every good intention of getting some fruits and veggies. But we got there about 30 minutes before it closes, and alot of the vendors were already packing up, I went to a few booths, but the only good stuff was at the booth with all the baked goods. So I got 4 sugar cookies decorated like pumpkins. I gave my daughter one after she finished her dinner, and now I'm contemplating eating one too. It smelled sooo good when I took it out of the bag and gave it to her, and I could feel that it was soft. And it was that perfect golden color on the bottom.

I shouldn't! I didn't go to work today....I didn't work out.....but I did get a lot done. I lugged a chunky little one year old to preschool and back twice, once to drop sis off, and then back to pick her up; I did the dishes; I did the laundry; I called and made dentist appointments; I went to lunch with my mom and sisters; I went to the Farmers market and walked around; I gave the baby a bath (and he poo'd in the tub...so gross, so it was actually a double bath and then I had to scrub the tub too!) I took a shower, I cooked dinner. I know none of these things are really to be commended, and I'm sure every other mom did all these same things today too. I'm just trying to make excuses as to why I deserve a cookie! I want a cookie....and a little candy bar!

I'm just going to do it. If I don't give myself this little treat now, I will just continue to think about it, and want it, and dream about it until I break down and binge later. So chastises me if you want, I'll wear a scarlet "C" on my chest, but I'm off to get a cookie. But just one, I am still working on portion control!

Today was a good Day.

I had a good workout today. Really I did. It was hard, and I pushed myself just a little harder than my trainer even asked for. He wanted me to do 15 leg presses, I did 18. But this stuff always bites me in the butt, because for the next set he asked me to try to push out 20, so I did 21. (It almost killed me, but I did it! Just to show him, and me, that I could do it.) I am getting stronger.

I was doing hammer curls with my work out buddy. He was doing seated, which apperently makes it harder, and I was standing. My trainer had me start with 12 lb dumbells, and when I did the first set with out being tuckered out to his liking, he switched me up to 15 lb dumbells for the next 2 sets. And I did every rep. And then I looked down at the weights my workout buddy was using, and they were only 20 pounders. Only 5 pounds more than I was doing! I am proud of myself. (Earlier we were doing some kind of chest press and I was doing 15 pounders and he was doing 50 pounders! I can't even lift one of those with both hands!)

So my good work out this morning also fuled me to make better food choices. I had a Light-n-Fit yogert for breakfast, and a turkey wrap and a small salad for lunch, and I'm planning schicken breast and stir-fried veggies for dinner.

If it's "one day at a time" then "Today was a good Day!"

She didn't even notice! I need to set new Goals.

Nope, she didn't notice at all. My friend from college, I haven't seen her in about 3 months, and I was pretty chunky 3 months ago, it was my daughters birthday, and I was just looking at the pictures, not good! So, she didn't say anything about me looking thinner, (though she did say she likes my hair shorter, so it's not that she's not observant) so that means I need to work harder. Not work out harder, I'm doing good at that, though I have been getting to the gym later and later in the mornings, and that forces my workouts to be shorter because I still need to be to work at the same time. It's just that i have been tired from working extra hours, and its really hard to roll away from my warm husband and step out of the soft bed and onto the cool wood floor! So i will just have to push my slippers next to my bed and do it!

I'm seeing her again in about a month, I got tickets for a concert that we are going to together. So that is my goal. See, I did good when I was working towards a goal, loose the baby weight before the baby turns one. And I made it, almost, I was the same weight I was when I got pregnant about a week after his birthday, but close enough. And then since then I keep having excuses as to why I can't stay on the diet! (or the way of life, or whatever you call it) So i think i do better when I have a goal to focus on. So now I'm working to loose weight before the concert. If the concert is in 4 weeks, and I loose a healthy 2 pounds a week, and I've already lost 13 pounds, then that will bring the grand total to just over 20 pounds by the concert. That sounds do-able and notice-able. We'll see. So the new goals are, Healthier, Portion Control, Get to the gym on time, and focus on the concert!

We're not going to talk about it.

OK,
All of last week I had to work overtime at work. There was a big project that was supposed to be shipped out on Friday and my group stayed over a few hours every night to attempt to finish it. So every night, when I was dragging myself home at 8 or 9 in the evening, the last thing I was thinking about was a healthy dinner. I got up every morning and left my house by 6:30, had a good work out, had a healthy breakfast, a healthy lunch, and then as 5 o'clock quitting time turned into 6 o'clock, turned into 7 o'clock, I became a fast food monster. Every night we had something like McDonald's, or Long John Silvers, or one night we even had Go Go Taquitos from 7-11. (Hey I had to stop and get milk for the baby, and they were there, and hot, and food, and that was all I cared about!)

So I know it was bad. And I know I said I was going to change the way I eat, and be a better role model for my family, etc, etc, etc! So I failed again! I kept falling off the diet wagon, and then I decided that it wasn't a diet, it was a life style, and I guess it is only a lifestyle when it fits into my hectic schedule. So, pick myself up and try again.

I've been pretty good this week so far. And the guilt from not cooking for my family for an entire week has turned me into Martha Stewart! I have been cooking every night. Not the absolutely healthiest things, but better things, better than I used to cook. More whole grains, more veggies, less cheese. And PORTION CONTROL!! Maybe that will be my goal now, it's OK to eat a sparse sprinkle of cheese, just not a heaping mountain! That's it, portion control, that's what I'm working on. Better options and portion control for all.

Also, I'm seeing my best friend from college this weekend, so I have to be really good until Saturday so she can be surprised to see me looking a little ...well littlier! I'll let ya know if she even notices!

The second Weigh-In

So today was the second weigh in. Last night I made a fairly healthy dinner, leftover flank-steak cut into thin strips then stir fried with pea pods and orange peppers and served with rice. So after the kiddies were in bed I had 2 smallish slices of banana nut bread. I figured I had cooked it, so I should eat some. And I contemplated about it before hand, was it a good idea, should I just have a taste, should I skip it altogether since I had to weigh in the next morning? The hubby was having some regardless of my internal struggle, and he had his warmed up with a few scoops of ice cream. So I figured I would fore go the ice cream in favor of ice cold skim milk (basically the same right?) and just go for it. And now I'm glad I did. I got to eat my cake and lost weight too. Three pounds to be exact. This was a huge surprise to me since I had that horrible week of eating everything the week before last. I expected to be the same at best. So the grand total is 13 pounds now, after a little under 6 weeks. Not too bad! And a good 2lb/week average which is considered healthy. So the children are going to my mom's tonight to spend the night, and I am rewarding myself with a smallish binge of Taco Bell!!!! My all-time favorite. What I lived on through 2 pregnancies. My old Tuesday night tradition! And what I have not had since I started this weight lost plan.

That's right, Weight Loss Plan! I'm not calling it a diet. Diets end when you reach a goal, and I plan on this to be my new way of life. Not the working out 5 days a week thing, after I get to a more reasonable size I'll cut that back some, but the food part. I just need to look at food differently. I was talking to a girl from work at that shooting clinic I went to over the weekend, and she is very in shape. She said she gets irritated when people always ask her what diet she is on, and she said she has to explain to them that it is just the way she lives. I want that. I am going to live better. It will continue to make my hubby healthier, keep my children well, and help me restore myself. They say your body is your temple and you need to respect it. So that's the road I'm on. Feel free to come along for the ride.

Don't these people know I'm trying to eat better!!??

So all day Saturday I went to an NRA sponsored shooting clinic with a bunch of girls from work. Everything was included; guns, ammo, instructors, and FOOD! So I didn't eat breakfast before I left because I knew I would be eating there. Bad choice! The 'breakfast' they provided was coffee, doughnuts, muffins, and various other pastries! I tried to stay away, I got a bottle of water and sat there in the safety class while all the other ladies were munching on sugary goodness. And my stomach was growling, so before we headed out for our morning shoot, I grabbed one blueberry mini-muffin. Then we came back for lunch, which consisted of hot dogs, ketchup, mustard, mayo, relish, chili, baked beans, all kinds of little bags of chips, cans of pop, and 2 different kinds of cake for dessert!! Not a healthy choice in sight!! And I was starving!! So I had one hot-dog, no bun, a little mustard, and one scoop of beans, and more water. And I didn't even look at the cakes!

After the clinic, a few ladies asked me if I wanted to step out with them for a bite to eat. I cleared it with the hubby and went. I'm surprised I didn't eat the steering wheel along the way! Once there, they all got cheese burgers with steak fries, except for one girls that got a philly steak sub!!! Arrrgggg!!! The peer pressure, but i know I'm getting weighed tomorrow, so I had will power. I got a big salad with mixed field greens, a grilled chicken breast, apples, dried cherries, and fat free vinaigrette! It was so good, but at that point a tire would have been tasty too!!

Then yesterday after church, I took the kids to visit my mom. Of course I didn't get to eat anything before church. You get a one year old and a 4 year old both up, fed, dressed, hair fixed, bag packed to be gone the rest of the day. get yourself dressed and looking respectable, all while be extremely quiet so as not to wake the hubby up. And see if you have time to make yourself breakfast! So by the time I got to my mom's I was starving again! She suggested we go to Bray's for lunch. (If you don't know Bray's has the greasiest, best, cheese burgers anywhere!!) I told her I would go there for everyone else, But I went to McDonald's and got myself a salad. (I know I know, McDonald's salad isn't really healthy, but trust me, it's 1000% better than sliders!)

So we'll see if my will power's pays off when I jump on that scale tomorrow!

Complements Make the World of Difference!!

Lets start at last night. I had to take my sister home, she stayed at my house the last couple days while my regular babysitter was on vacation. And since she lives near the mall, and I actually was out of the house with no children, I decided to stop in and get a new pair of jeans. I had bought a new pair a few months ago when I started the new job and they are getting big in the waist as I'm dropping weight, so I planned to get the next size smaller, but totally expected to have to squeeze into them and hope that they would fit correctly in another few weeks. So imagine my delight when the smaller size slipped on without an issue!! (Now I was at the Fat store, which shall remain nameless, but I was still pretty thrilled that it was a smaller size.) I even thought of trying on the next smaller size, but that would be pushing it, and I really liked the feeling of buying new clothes that actually fit!

Skip to this morning. I'm working out and my trainer tells me "Under strict confidence, and I'm not going to name names, but someone came to me and said that they can tell you're loosing weight." And of course my response, "Who!?!"And he reminded me ,"Under strict Confidence!! But it was a guy." So I floated around on my little cloud, happy that someone had noticed. Then we were doing some different exercises and I asked, "So....what did they say, something like 'I can tell Niki is working out'?" And he said, "OK...this is the last we are going to talk about this....but they said "I can tell she is really losing weight, especially in the lower half." YES!!! All this work and my butt is getting smaller!! It's like a dream come true. So then I told him about the buying smaller jeans thing.

Then I was doing leg presses. And he always sets the weight on the machines, and I don't even look at what it is set at. I figure it is his job to know what I should do and how I should progress. Plus if I look and it is heavy, I might get discouraged that I won't be able to do it, and if it is light I might get discouraged that I should be able to do more. So I found it better not to look, just to believe that it is just right. (The Goldilocks way!) So anyway, I do 15 leg presses and rest. And he says "Look, you are doing 50lbs! When you started out you were struggling with 40lbs, and now you can do 50!"

Then skip to near the end of the workout. We were walking to go do free weights and he said, "Now you are getting some good workouts in. Before you were..." I jumped in "too weak?" He said no. "Too fat?" No again "Too lazy?" Now he jumped in, "No! I was going to say you were pooping out! Now you are getting in a good workout because before you were pooping out more quickly!"

So lets review. I can fit in smaller size clothes. People are noticing. And I am healthier and have better strength and endurance! These are all very positive milestones! Proof of my progress! The payoff for all my work! I know that I am getting weighed again on Tuesday, and I was a little worried because of the diet disaster that was last week. But now I am thrilled! I am going to go nose to the grindstone these next few days and hopefully we can all celebrate a great weigh in next week.

And for anyone else out there that may be trying to loose weight, you know who you are. Hard work reaps great rewards! You couldn't knock me off my cloud today if you tried!

Man, I'm soar today!

Yesterday I had to do squats with a 25 lb weight. Then we also did bench press and tricep stuff and crunches. But it was the squats that killed me. Late yesterday morning, a little before lunch, I had to go upstairs. There are 2 sets of steps, at the top on one is the fitness center, then you can go through a door into our workshop, then you can go down a hall to where about 10 engineers work, then at the end of their office there is a door with another set of steps. So anyway I had to go up to the work shop, and I went to jog up the steps like normal, but I had to stop because my legs were weak. And that was a sign that they were going to hurt today!!
So I rolled outta bed this morning and wanted to cry. OK, it's not that bad, but pretty painful. And I should have known better that to wear heels today, but I didn't think about it when I packed my bag last night. So today, of course, I have had to go upstairs a thousand times. I worked out this morning, kinda half-heartedly 15 min on the eliptical and 20 on the treadmill. Then I have had to go to the work shop a bunch, and go talk to the upstairs engineers a bunch. So about an hour ago I was up there, and was on my way back down. I was using the steps in the workout center and my trainer just happened to be up there. I was a few steps down from the top and was clenching the hand rail and he yelled over to me "You aren't that soar!!" And I stopped and turned around and told him "Yes I am" And he must have seen pain on my face or something because he walked over to the top of the steps and nicely told me "I want you to do some stretches today, just stand by your desk and do it like this." Then, when I almost thought he cared, he said "Because you are doing more of those squats tomorrow!!"
This is my punishment for balking the universe!!

No Workout Buddy, But I think I like it!

A couple weeks ago I lost my workout buddy. He would be there 'sharing' my trainer on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. We would talk a little while we were doing our warm-up, and then maybe crack a few jokes while we were lifting weights. And I liked that I didn't feel like I was doing it alone. But then his wife gave birth to their baby, and now when he gets down with his shift (he is on the midnight shift) he goes right home to help her out. (As any good hubby should!)

So now I am all alone. Just me and the trainer. But it's nice because we talk more about food and temtations and goals. And today was fun because he got down on the floor and did all my crunches with me. And he watches my every rep and makes sure I am keeping good form and not cheating.

So am I selfish to not want my workout buddy to come back? I guess I'm good either way. And from what I hear from other people around here, in the winter alot more people start working out because they can't run outside or whatever they do in the warm months. And then I'm sure in the spring a ton of people will be up there getting ready for 'bikini weather!' So I better be good with 'sharing'.

The Universe Fights Back!!

A very wise friend once told me, "When ever you try to make a significant change in your life, the universe will fight back to not let this change happen. And if it is a change that you really want, then you have to fight for it!" (Or something like that, I'm paraphrasing) So this last week the universe threw everything it had at me.

Lets start with Monday night, the 29th, since it was my birthday the next day, I decided to make cupcakes to take to my office the next day. So I made them and baked them, and my daughter licked the bowl so I didn't have to (you can't let bowls go un-licked). But later I had one cinnamon muffin and 1/2 a brownie, I had to taste test them before I fed them to people.

Then Tuesday it was my birthday, so I took the baked goods into work, and instead of my normal English muffin for breakfast, I had a cinnamon muffin with milk. And then my hubby took me to lunch, where I had soup, bread, and a delicious baked pasta covered with cheese. Then later for dinner my hubby listed all the possible things he would get me for dinner, but I had him go get Subway, to try to be somewhat healthy.

Then Wednesday, I ate my normal healthy breakfast, but I had my Italian leftovers for lunch. And what did we have for dinner wednesday??? I can't remember?? I think it was Tuscan Chicken pasta. Yeah it was. So that was healthy, whole wheat pasta, chicken, tomatos, peppers, and a bunch of fresh yellow and green squash!

Then Tursday was my son's birthday. I ate my healthy breakfast. But lunch was my company's monthly cook-out. So I had meatballs and some pasta, and a bunch of veggies, and some bread, and some shrimp, and a cookie! (And later I went back to get a second cookie, and when I was almost to the table they were on, I spotted my trainer standing by the wall talking to someone. I don't know if he was guarding the cookies, or if he just happened to be there, but just in case I high-tailed it outta there before he saw me. So no 2nd cookie.) Then my Father-in-law was coming over to bring my son a gift and we were all going to dinner, but he didn't come until 7:00 and didn't want to go eat, and didn't leave until almost 9. So we never went out, I just fed the kids at home. And then I realized that we were out of milk and ran out to get some, and the dang universe steered my truck to Del Taco! So I had a spicy chicken burrito and a quesidilla and a Sprite for dinner!

Then Friday I ate a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast with a pile of fresh fruit. (My company supplies bagels and fruit and doughnuts and muffins every Friday) And for lunch I went out with some guys for Sushi. Which isn't that bad I guess, especially since I got it made with brown rice. And then when I got home I thought it would be a good idea to put some leftovers down the garbage disposal. Only it was alot, and I plugged it all up. My poor sweet hubby had to disassemble the plumbing under the sink, and scrap ground up roast pork out of the main drain. It got all over the cupboard under the sink and he mopped it up with out MUCH complaint. So I had to treat him to Chinese. You understand, right? So I had some cashew beef and rice and crab rangoons for dinner. And then I had to bake my son's cake for his party the next day. My daughter was already in bed by then, so I was forced (yes, forced I tell you) to lick the bowl myself. Either that or I figured i had already blown it for the week and I might as well enjoy my self during the free fall. Or that is is MY birthday too!!

So I got up early on Saturday to assemble the dinosaur cake. It turned out pretty cute and i was pretty pleased. Except that I did eat some chunks of cake as I was carving! Then off to the party where we had a veggie tray, pizza, salad, pop, doughnuts, cider, and of course cake! I was actually pretty busy, and didn't snack at all. But I did sit down and eat a big plate of salad and 2 slices of pizza and a small cup of pop. And then during a cake time, I ate about 1/2 of a frosting covered Ding Dong that had been part of the dinosaur. After the party, we dropped the kids off with my mother and went to a friend's BBQ. I had some smoked brisket on a bun, 2 ribs, a chicken leg, carrots, brusel sprouts, and a couple scoops of different picnic salads. Then he had about 5 different desserts. So I got a plate and got a small piece of each, and shared it with my hubby.

Then Sunday, I skipped breakfast because I was trying to get stuff done while the kids were away. I picked them and my sis up from my mom around noon and went home. I had a pig plate of leftover salad and 2 slices of leftover pizza for lunch. Then later I had a doughnut and cider for a snack. Then we went to the Red Wings game. We did take the stairs all the way down from the Cobo roof, and we had deli sandwiches for dinner. Then after the 2nd period we did 2 laps of the concourse and ended up back at our seats with a slice of pizza each. So after the game we took the stairs all the way back up to the roof, I think it is about 10 stories! And when we got home I had a piece of leftover birthday cake.

I couldn't fight the universe this week. There were too many things back to back. 2 birthddays, a BBQ and party, a work cookout, a Wings game. I couldn't resist, I was weak! But I did still workout every morning. And I worked out this morning, and I had my english muffin for breakfast, and my turkey and spinach roll for lunch. Just got to get right back at it! I just have to remember my goals and not let a little trip-up turn into a land-slide! I AM going to do better this week!

I have a Nickname

So yesterday I started working out, like normal, and my trainer was talking with the guys. Then he said loudly, "There she is, I'm going to call her Niki 'The Real Deal' (insert last name here)!" I gigeled and continued on with my cardio. Them today, as soon as I hit the top of the stairs (in case i've never mentioned it before, the workout center is upstairs in a kind of loft in the corner of the building. Two walls are outside walls and have windows and mirrors, one wall is shared with our 'work room' and is covered with mirrors on the workout center side, and the last wall is open to the shop below, so you can look out while you are up there) anyway, I hit the top of the stairs and he said "Hey Real Deal, whats up!" So I guess it's my nickname.
As far as names go, it's not great, but it's not to bad. It will help to keep me motivated if nothing else, now I have to live up to being the real deal. So i'll take it for now.
Also today he asked what I was having for breakfast. I said a toasted whole wheat english muffin and 1 tabelspoon of lite peanut butter, what I though was a good answer, it is on my 'sheet of what to eat'. And he told me that by lunch I am going to protien deficient, and I should start thinking about having protien shakes. And I told him, if I can have chocolate flavored protien shake that would be great, because in the last month I have become extremely chocolate defiecient. So we will see how that goes.
We did have catered lunch at work today and there were buffalo meatballs with penne pasta and tomato sauce, buffalo meatballs with mushroom gravy over egg noodles, salad, pasta salad, mixed veggies, cheese burgers, chicken kabobs, shrimp kabobs, and cookies. So I ate one cookie while I was in line. Then I had a big salad, a lot of veggies, 5 meatballs with a few pieces of egg noodles and 2 shrimp kabobs with squash. So, lots of protien and veggies, and only a little carbs. Not too bad, not good!, but not nearly as bad as it could have been.! Where are those seatbelts to strap myself onto the diet wagon!!!!

The Much Awaited Weigh In

Ok, so it happened yesterday, the big weigh in. Drumroll please.....................10 pounds! Not as much as I was hoping for, but I will definetly take it! Its a step in the right direction, and something for me to try to beat for the next weigh in, which I have no idea when that will be! And even if I wasn't doing cart-wheels over it, my trainer was! He was suprised, he said "I knew you would loose, but I didn't think you would loose that much!" And then this morning when he was working out with the guys, and I has sweating on the Eliptical, he was telling them what a great job I'm doing and how people are really watching me now. To which I replyed "Well then I better keep it up so they will at least have something a little better to look at!" Cheesy, but I did get a laugh.
I always totally believed in two things. 1. Ask and you shall receive. 2. God helps those who help them selves. So I have wanted to get in shape for awhile now, at lease since after my daughter was born. I kept 'asking' but nothing was happening. Then I got this great job that offers this work out center with trainers. So I like to think that God guided me here, and I'm the one that has to drag my butt outta bed at 6 in the morning and go sweat for an hour. But He will continue to give me the strength to achive my goals. Thank you, I am greatful!